What is it all about?

The last five years of my mother's life were remarkable.  She had a touch of Alzheimer's, didn't know who I was when she first entered the hospital, had four near death experiences in the next five years and every time she survived, she came home more alert mentally and more loving.  By the time she died, she was absolutely irresistible. The night she came home from what I call her second miracle, I heard her stir in the middle of the night.  I rushed into her bedroom, turned on the light, and there she was sitting up in bed unattended (earlier she couldn't move without help), her face was radiant and a huge smile spread across her cheeks.  She looked at me and said, "Do you know what life is all about?  It's all about love and understanding, but every one's brain isn't the same, so you help when you can. That's what life is all about."  She smiled, put herself down and went back to sleep.  The next morning she again could not move without help.

Those magical words of hers have become a mantra I repeat to myself every day.

FORGIVENESS:
My mother lost her education and her family, everything she cherished. I’ve often wondered how I would react if ordinary Turks apologized and said they carried shame and remorse in their hearts for what their forefathers did to the Armenians.  The word forgiveness has never been part of my vocabulary....that is...until I heard Desmond Tutu’s interpretation of forgiveness. Desmond Tutu suggests that by saying “I forgive you,” two things happen.  The victim releases the fearful emotional hold thrust upon him/her by the perpetrator and is also saying, “I’m not going to attack you.” This releasing of hostility by the victim then gives the perpetrator a freeing opportunity to apologize and make amends. Naive?  Maybe...and maybe not. 

MEDICARE FRAUD: Recently the FBI arrested 52 in an Armenian crime syndicate that stole nearly $160 million in fake claims to Medicare and I could feel my blood beginning to boil…for two reasons: First, these kinds of actions increase endangering the stability of the Medicare program that is vital in maintaining the health of  senior citizens who cannot afford health insurance and second, that Armenians, my brethren, would dare put this kind of a stain on the Armenian community. I often wonder why Armenians, probably one of the most ancient of peoples, survived through the ages while other ancient ethnic groups have not. I suspect the reasons for our survival are nobler than for us to embrace the worst kind of human qualities. I wonder how our ancestors who were forced from their homes in 1915, in whatever plane they now are, look upon those who carry our strong Armenian genes and wonder if they cringe as they “watch” these dreadful actions by their descendants of that horrific genocide during World War I. I think of those helpless Armenians on that cruel march and dare to ask those Medicare perpetrators...was the 1915 sacrifice of family, culture, and country in vain?
 How different it would be for the memory of our ancestors who suffered so tragically if our Armenian intelligence and nobility instead was used to create better ways to help humanity. The depth of intelligence needed to perpetuate this expansive crime syndicate is as if they had created their own corporation with a brilliant CEO. Energy is energy and a tremendous amount of energy was needed to perpetuate the stealing of millions and millions of dollars. Just imagine if that same vital energy was used to develop a legitimate corporation giving legitimate jobs to their Armenian compatriots and developing useful products that could become the finest in the marketplace.
I wonder if we Armenians really understand the power of our ancestral genes and why some choose to use it by bathing in piles of dung.

PROFOUND BOOKS:
Is there a book that has had a profound effect upon your life?  More than likely there is and one of these days I will write about that one book I read some thirty years ago that still resonates in my mind. But today I want to write about Supreme Court Justice Steven Breyer and the book that affected him so deeply, a novel, THE PLAGUE, by the French writer, Albert Camus.  In an interview with Charlie Rose,  Justice Breyer talked about a doctor in the novel who behaved better than most when a plague invaded a city in Algeria and he said that the germ of the plague is in each of us and never dies, goes into remission but when it is sent forth to invade and the rats come out, we judges in a small way set up a dyke to stop it. 

That statement had a profound effect upon me and I thought about a story I had recently heard about an old and wise Native American Indian and his conversation with his grandson. This is the essence of that story: "My son, there are two wolves inside us all and they are continually battling one another. One is self pity, anger, lies, sorrow, regret, greed, guilt, false pride, envy, inferiority, superiority, arrogance, and resentment. The other is truth, love, faith, peace, humility, compassion, generosity, and joy."

The grandson thought for a moment and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?"

"The one you feed."

WEST HOLLYWOOD BOOK FAIR

Last Sunday I was part of IWOSC (Independent Writers of Southern California) asked to read from my novel, A Gift In The Sunlight: An Armenian Story, a story about my mother's survival from the Armenian Genocide. I spent a little time at the IWOSC booth before the read and talked briefly to a gentleman who was well into his seventies, a once upon a time Hollywood screenwriter. When he realized I was Armenian, he said with a bit of sarcasm, "I hope you are not one of those...and I cut him off because I knew to what he was inferring...are you one of those who won't let go of the past and make so much noise about the Armenian genocide...and I responded, "I am my mother's voice."  He immediately retracted and talked about a Jewish holocaust survivor he knew. But for me this was a great lesson.  It was the very first time I used the words, "I am my mother's voice." And it has affected the way I now read my mother's story.

In previous reads I read from a responsibility to history.  The Turks say what happened to the 2 million Turkish Armenians in 1915 was not genocide and are trying to erase this tragic historic event from history.  The depth of my research reveals this extermination of the Turkish Armenians is without doubt genocide...and I now realize my mother's voice won't let me go until the Turkish government recognizes that what happened in 1915 was genocide and will have a conversation about reparations. 

If you want to learn more go to my website for a quick study!  http://www.kaymouradian.com/

The highest yoga is the control of the mind, yet most of us have no comprehension how or why our minds work the way do.  One of the reasons is that we have not been taught about thought, what it is, where it comes, and how it affects our lives.  Those who are concerned about the health of their physical body are careful about the kind of junk food they eat but I'd venture to say they never think about the junk thoughts they carry in their minds....or how those junk thoughts affect the effectiveness of their being. Enough said at the moment.  Something to think about...how can you find out what kind of thoughts crowd your mind?  And how much of it is junk?

Once upon a time a wise friend told me that the Buddha said that man is born, he suffers, and dies. Then my friend said that most people die never knowing what they wanted. That statement shocked me, because I was not aware I did not know what I wanted, until that very moment. He asked me several questions that I pondered over and when I understood the depth and meaning of those questions it did not take me long to answer them. And my world lightened. I realized what was important and all the insignificant stuff that plagued my consciousness dissipated and freed me to know, to really know. What a wonderful feeling. I review those questions on occasions and even after thirty years I find it interesting the answers are still the same. I’ve given these questions to some of my more capable students and I’m happy to share them with you, hoping your answers will free you from those pesky encumbers that weigh you down.

What do you want? Why? (The most important answer is why!)

What do you hope to achieve in this lifetime?

What do you love? Why?

With my newly redesigned website http://kaymouradian.com/ I will be updating my blog with more ideas and insights. In the meantime you may want to view some of the older postings...they are meant to stimulate your thinking!

I read this the other day and decided to post it.

BECOME AWAKE

The vibration of one clear awakened man is unforgettable.

The greatest of those in history revered and loved were simple men
Who during thier lives worked, spoke and acted quietly.

The potency and power of their being, the quality of their actions
Deemed them unforgettable as they influenced many.

This is the power of every being who is honest about his deepest potential
And becomes what he can be.

During one of my teaching sabbaticals I studied with a medical doctor who specialized in acupuncture. One of his patients told him I was a yoga aficionado who had studied in India and my interest in maintaining a healthy body triggered an interest in acupuncture. When he learned I was auditing classes at one of the local acupuncture colleges in Los Angeles, he contacted me and asked if I could create a series of exercises to trigger “chi” through the acupuncture meridian channels. He said I could work with some of his patients to see if the exercises increased their healing time. I was delighted with the offer, but I soon discovered that most of his patients were not comfortable in their bodies and did not have a good sense of their body, especially when their eyes were closed. It was difficult for them to merely stretch their toes and far more difficult to exercise the meridian stretch positions. Only one of the six patients was successful. She had been a ballet student in her youth, was totally in touch with her body and was able to stretch each of the twelve major meridians properly. Suffering with intense back pain, she feared she’d have to cancel a planned trip to Europe. I suggested she practice the twelve stretches five times a day, and a month later I received a card from her thanking me. The card was postmarked from Switzerland.

My keen interest in acupuncture led me to apply to the Academy of Chinese Medicine in Beijing, and when I was accepted I applied for another teaching sabbatical. It was approved, but at the time my elderly myrig became seriously ill and I had to cancel that learning experience. I never did get to China because I transferred that energy from acupuncture to researching and writing a story about my mother’s survival from the Genocide, which took many more years than I had envisioned.

I still find acupuncture fascinating. There are such interesting aspects of how acupuncture relates to our physical and emotional bodies. For example, the organs of the body are compared to a society. The lungs are likened to that of a population’s prime minister, the liver to a General and the heart is referred to as the Emperor. The human heart is protected by a membrane and in acupuncture that membrane is referred to as the jester whose job is to keep the emperor happy. Why? Because when the emperor is happy, the population will be happy. How does this relate to the human being? Does it mean that if the heart is free from stress the rest of the body will function harmoniously? Chinese medicine says the heart rules the mind. If that is true, and it most likely is, I immediately know what is meant when someone says, “He has a big heart.” A wise and great soul once said to me:

Your heart is the center of your life energy
And the center of your mental and intuitive energy

How often have you heard people say
"It was heartfelt"
"My heart is broken"
"I learned it by heart"?

People say, "I love with all my heart."
They never say, "I love with all my brain"
You may think you think with your brain.
But you do not.
You think with your heart.

Is there such a thing as an Armenian heart? And is this Armenian heart with its history of longsuffering the reason why Armenians, one of the most ancient of peoples, if not the most ancient, have had the courage to endure and survive through the ages while other ancient ethnic groups have not?

REFLECTIVE MOMENTS

Rajmohan Gandhi, a human rights activist and historian is a visiting professor at the South Asia and Middle East Program at the University of Illinois. He recently authored a biography of his grandfather, Gandhi: The Man, His People, and an Empire, and Pasadena City College was the site of his first lecture tour. He talked about the stature of his remarkable grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi, and how this ordinary man became a revolutionary who believed in the efficacy of non-violence and became the Great Soul who liberated India from the yoke of Great Britain.

I was moved by Rajmohan’s discourse about how his grandfather continued to live by the principle of non-violence even as he was beaten in South Africa by Whites, Blacks and his own South African Indians who refused to embrace non-violence during South Africa’s tyranny of apartheid. One of those beatings nearly took Gandhi’s life. Perplexed, his eldest son asked, “Father, you always preach non-violence to us at home, but if I had been at this beating, what should I have done?” And Gandhi replied, “If you cannot immediately think of something to do that is non-violent, then hit him!” That statement surprised me.

PCC’s Sexton Auditorium was filled to capacity, and I was fortunate to be sitting in the front row. I was charmed by the smile of a rugged looking Latino who, with camera in hand, sat next to me. He introduced himself and told me he was going to video Rajmohan Gandhi’s talk and post it on his website. Wearing a Che Guevara beret, he said he had recently filmed the Nobel Laureate Muhammad Yunus and we both agreed that Dr. Yunus, the small-loan banker from Bangladesh who is lifting the poorest of the poor out of poverty, was most likely today’s Mahatma Gandhi. That conversation triggered my thinking about how the very ordinary can become totally principled and never waver from their core, and how they can affect the lives of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands. And the image of Henry Morgenthau, Sr. came to my mind. He is a hero to many Armenians, but this principled man worked at developing his strengths by what he referred to as building his moral muscles.

The young Henry Morgenthau at age fourteen composed twenty-four rules of actions he wished to acquire and vices he needed to avoid. He made a chart and every night he marked breaches of that day. He titled his chart: Tabulating virtues to be acquired and vices to be avoided
1. Do not use any profane words.
2. Do not eat much sweet food as it darkens the mind.
3. Always speak the truth.
4. Spend nothing unnecessarily, for if you save when young, you can spend when old.
5. Never be idle as it will cause you to think of wrong things.
6. Talk little, but think much.
7. Study daily, or else your knowledge will not improve.
8. Keep your own secrets, for if you do not keep them, no one will keep them for you.
9. Make few promises, but if you make any, fulfill them.
10. Never speak evil of anyone.
11. Work for your employer as though it was for yourself.
12. Deal fairly and honestly with your fellow clerks, but be not too intimate.
13. Be not inquisitive.
14. Neither borrow nor lend if avoidable.
15. Trust none too much, but be not distrustful.
16. Be not vain, for vanity is the destruction of men.
17. Be grateful for the smallest favor.
18. Never leave for tomorrow what can be done today.
19. Drink no kind of intoxicating liquor nor smoke any weed.
20. Never play at any game of chance.
21. Conquer temptation though it be ever so powerful.
22. Keep yourself clean, as cleanliness is next to godliness.
23. Wonder not at the construction of man, but use your time in improving yourself.
24. In deciding any doubts in the meaning of above maxims, let conscience decide.

These moral muscles he practiced as a teenager built within him an honest power that eventually led to the world’s recognition of him as a wealthy entrepreneur, a diplomat extraordinaire and a noble humanitarian.

YOU REJOICE MY HEART Taderon Press, London

This story filled my heart with rejoice. Written by a Turk who lives and teaches in Germany, this is the story of his search to find Turkish Armenians who masked their Armenian identity. His friendship with a fellow German naturalized citizen, Melanie, triggered his curiosity when he discovered she was an Armenian born in Turkey. He made a promise to Melanie, a colleague whom he deeply admired, that he would learn about Armenian history and why Armenians, especially those living in Turkey, felt a need to hide their Armenian heritage.

As an American born to immigrant Armenian parents, I never considered being Armenian as an impediment. I knew opportunities were around every corner, but apparently that is not the case for Armenians living in Turkey. Yalcin’s story is a reminder how painful it is for those who are told they don’t fit into the everyday mold and feel safer by hiding their heritage. My heart also goes out to American Moslems who abhor the destructive activities of some of their extremist brethren and to light- skinned blacks who, in our recent past, felt opportunities were greater if they passed as whites.

I am grateful to Kemel Yalcin, a Turk who understands the Armenian question and is open to creating dialogue, especially in Turkey. He understands we all belong to this planet earth, whether male or female, old or young, Turk or Armenian or Kurd, Israeli or Palestinian....and whenever there is an exclusion of certain groups from the circle of friendship, there are far sighted ones like Kemel Yalcin who understand that the circle needs to be expanded to enclose everyone.

A REFLECTIVE MOMENT
The year was 1976 and I was on sabbatical from my college in Los Angeles. I had submitted a doctoral proposal for developing a competency based curriculum in yoga for the community colleges. When the proposal was accepted, I contacted several yoga centers throughout India and soon after was on a plane with a ticket so fat it impressed even airline personnel. The first of my thirty-two scheduled stops was Germany followed by three touristy weeks in Egypt. Then I boarded Japan Air to fly on to India. I had been with family and friends up to this point, but for the next five months I would be on my own. Nervous but elated at the thought of finding a yoga teacher who could answer my questions, I sat in my window seat and watched white fluffy clouds gently disappear into the blue sky. Finally, when the 747 made its approach into Bombay, now called Mumbai, I viewed the ancient city in the morning’s first light. My excitement soared.
As my cabby drove wildly through the littered streets, I drank in the early morning sights. Life was still quiet. Men, women, and children clothed in lightweight white cottons slept on sidewalks close to doorways of paint-peeling apartments. Were they escaping India’s unbearable heat? This early September morning was already hot and humid. Our Indian Ambassador taxi had no air-conditioning, and my clothes were sticking to my body. Relief flowed over me when I checked into the air-conditioned Taj Mahal Hotel. I quickly unpacked eager to start my interviews. I had assumed yoga was a way of life in India, and I wanted to understand that life-style. I’d hoped to meet that someone special who could teach me life’s secrets. When the student is ready, the teacher will come. Isn’t that what all the books said? And I was ready.
It didn’t take long to discover that being ready was not enough. I realized many of my questions would never be answered. My first interview was my first betrayal.
As I entered an old building that advertised a Bombay yoga center and walked up the creaky narrow stairs, I found myself in what looked an ordinary apartment with no furniture. I had traveled thousands of miles only to be greeted by a twenty something American girl. The yogi, her teacher, was out of town. So instead of interviewing an Indian yogi, I observed this young 26 year-old American from Florida teaching yoga postures to Indian teenage girls. Was this why I had traveled to India?
I refused to be discouraged. I had many more interviews scheduled. One, in particular, held intrigue. A government sponsored research center housed a hospital, a medical doctor and a swami. Research on the effects of yoga postures on insulin production of diabetics was in progress. This one interview would prove that the books and all their claims of yoga’s healing powers were true. But when I arrived, my heart sank. The small hospital was dirty, the doctor with whom I had corresponded was away in Madras, and the excited swami who was expecting me had Richard Hittleman’s yoga book, A 28-Day Exercise Plan sitting on his desk. I’m sure he thought I was going to take him to America and make him famous. That was the day the magic ended.
What I learned is what my teacher said to me:
Look into a man's eyes
Learn to read his spirit.
His countenance and his eyes
Tell you what quality is in him
More than the words he speaks.

Kay Mouradian is author of REFLECTIVE MEDITATION and A GIFT IN THE SUNLIGHT: An Armenian Story

The infighting in Yerevan during this last election needs to be heeded by all Armenians. Armenia, the first country to break from the yoke of Russia, should be an exemplar of democracy for its entire people, not just for those who know how to exploit the system. “A house divided against itself cannot stand,” said Abraham Lincoln. A weakened Armenia becomes vulnerable prey to the wolves watching and waiting for the right moment to strike.

I often wonder why Armenians, probably one of the most ancient of peoples, if not the most ancient, survived through the ages while other ancient ethnic groups have not. I suspect the reasons for our survival are nobler than for us to embrace the worst of human qualities as was demonstrated in Yerevan and even more so by the Young Turks.

I wonder how our ancestors forced from their homes in 1915, in whatever plane they now are, look upon us who carry those strong Armenian ancestral genes and wonder if they cringe as they “watch” Armenia today. How would they, who suffered so tragically, feel if our Armenian intelligence and nobility showed the way to better our planet? I’d love to see some young Armenian look to the sun and learn to effectively harness its free energy to relieve the world from its dependence on oil and the greed, fear and hatred that dependence causes. I wonder if we Armenians really understand the power of our ancestral genes.

But then I also wonder why there is so much water on the planet earth and what role those magnificent oceans play in supporting our planet.

DEATH

There is no death in this universe.
There is only change.
What you call death
Is merely a change of vehicle.

When there is no longer a physical pattern
To held them together
The body disintegrates.

You can't see the occupant anymore.
You think it's gone
But it is not.
It's just in another state.

When man leaves his body
He moves into what we call
The Astral Plane
And changes into another vibration of matter,
One slightly less dense
Than the physical one.

Then we have what is called
A Second Death.

Those heavy with selfish thoughts and egotistical desires,
Stay in the astral body a long time.
They become floating astral corpses
In the plane nearest to the earth.
But
An average good man's astral body
Will disintegrate much more quickly.
He will move onward into states of rest and recuperation
And into the Halls of Learning.

When karma is right
He will reincarnate into a new physical body.

HAPPINESS

To know means to have responsibility

and

No longer blame outward circumstances.

Where you are is your field of Happiness.

Make it useful.

See Happiness within what is around you.

and

Build it into a beautiful thing.

How you react is under your power.

As you read this interesting IDEA be aware that in the study of acupuncture the HEART RULES THE MIND!

YOUR HEART

Your heart is the center of your life energy

And the center of your mental and intuitive energy

How often have you heard people say

"It was heartfelt"

"My heart is broken"

"I learned it by heart"

People say, "I love with all my heart."

They never say, "I love with all my brain."

You may think you think with your brain.

But you do not.

You think with your heart!

PURIFY THE BLOOD

The heart is both physical and spiritual.

It coarsens and grows less elastic

If you send it wrong ingredients.

It is like boiling water in a pot

And the sediment in the water hardens

If the water is not pure.

What ingredients pruify the heart's blood?

Ease the stresses of the body and mind,

relax the tension within the self.

Look upon each being with a clear and gentle eye

Without fear

Without hostility

Without reacting when hit hard.

Let the hit rebound

Within a stream of healing force.

ENERGY

Energy comes from food and air.

Food is the building block for your body

But vitality and energy come from prana, the vital force in air.

You can live on far less than you presently eat

If you breathe in prana five times every morning.

Take a deep breath, hold it

And focus on your heart.

If you do this four or five times a day

your nervous system will become steadier.

After a month of practice

You will feel more energized in your physical body

And in your mental body.

THE BREATH

The thing that controls

The beating of the heart

Is BREATH

When confronted with fear

The breath becomes swift and shallow

In times of relaxation

The breath is even ad rhythmic

Breathing follows the tenor of the mind

And reflects directly upon the heart