SUFFERING:

I recently got an email from an old friend who lives in Germany. Her daughter somehow found a copy of my novel, A GIFT IN THE SUNLIGHT: An Armenian Story and gave it to her mother. My German friend read my book, in spite of her macular degeneration, emailed me immediately to say this one line in the story affected her deeply. It was said to my mother by an American teacher, a missionary who loved my mother.

GOD DOES NOT CREATE SUFFERING. MAN DOES.

KINDNESS

Recently a powerful thought keeps running through my mind and I keep telling myself I need to post it...and finally here it is

A LIFE DEVOID OF KINDNESS LEADS TO A LIFE FILLED WITH MISERY.

April 24:

April 24 is the day Armenians worldwide honor those who perished in the Armenian genocide. President Obama promised in his presidential campaign to recognize the Armenian catastrophe as genocide and still refuses to use the G word as President. But we Armenian Americans will not relent from our demand for the dignity of truth. My mother was a survivor, I am her voice and her spirit won’t release me until Turkey admits its intent in expelling its Turkish Armenian population from its historic homeland during WWI was none other than genocide.

Because the world forgot about those Starving Armenians at the onset of WWII, Hitler may have use the Armenian genocide as a template when he spoke those famous words in 1939, “Who today still talks about the extermination of the Armenians.”

Yes indeed, for every apparent injustice there has been a previous injustice in the past.

WAR

There are many who say that J. Krishnamurti was the spiritual teacher of the 20th century.  He was a dynamic speaker and I was fortunate to hear one of his talks in Ojai, California. The Vietnam war was raging at the time and I was stunned to hear him say that all of us were responsible for that war.  My immediate thought was... "Me? I have nothing to do with that war," but I did not realize at the time what he meant. Then somewhere I read this about war and began to understand the significance of what he said on that eventful day.

The Roots of War Arise From
Fear
Greed
Unkindness
And
Love of Power

When we let these roots grow
In our Spirit
We contribute to a terrible WAR.

It's been a while since I posted a new thought on my blog, but one of my projects, a potential documentary, has consumed my energy for the past several weeks. Now that I have a breather and am energized from a week of skiing in Colorado, I want to write just one sentence....an powerful insight I either heard or read recently and can't get out of my mind.

Those whose hearts are void of kindness end up living lives filled with misery.

Acupunture:

During one of my teaching sabbaticals I studied with a medical doctor who specialized in acupuncture. One of his patients told him I was a yoga aficionado who had studied in India and my interest in maintaining a healthy body triggered an interest in acupuncture. When he learned I was auditing classes at one of the local acupuncture colleges in Los Angeles, he contacted me and asked if I could create a series of exercises to trigger “chi” through the acupuncture meridian channels. He said I could work with some of his patients to see if the exercises increased their healing time. I was delighted with the offer, but I soon discovered that most of his patients were not comfortable in their bodies and did not have a good sense of their body, especially when their eyes were closed. It was difficult for them to merely stretch their toes and far more difficult to exercise the meridian stretch positions. Only one of the six patients was successful. She had been a ballet student in her youth, was totally in touch with her body and was able to stretch each of the twelve major meridians properly. Suffering with intense back pain, she feared she’d have to cancel a planned trip to Europe. I suggested she practice the twelve stretches five times a day, and a month later I received a card from her thanking me. The card was postmarked from Switzerland.

My keen interest in acupuncture led me to apply to the Academy of Chinese Medicine in Beijing, and when I was accepted I applied for another teaching sabbatical. It was approved, but at the time my elderly mother became seriously ill and I had to cancel that learning experience. I never did get to China because I transferred that energy from acupuncture to researching and writing a story about my mother’s survival from the Armenian Genocide, which took many more years than I had envisioned.

I still find acupuncture fascinating. There are such interesting aspects of how acupuncture relates to our physical and emotional bodies. For example, the organs of the body are compared to a society. The lungs are likened to that of a population’s prime minister, the liver to a General and the heart is referred to as the Emperor. The human heart is protected by a membrane and in acupuncture that membrane is referred to as the jester whose job is to keep the emperor happy. Why? Because when the emperor is happy, the population will be happy. How does this relate to the human being? Does it mean that if the heart is free from stress the rest of the body will function harmoniously? Chinese medicine says the heart rules the mind. If that is true, and it most likely is, I immediately know what is meant when someone says, “He has a big heart.” A wise and great soul once said to me:

Your heart is the center of your life energy
And the center of your mental and intuitive energy
How often have you heard people say
"It was heartfelt"
"My heart is broken"
"I learned it by heart"?
People say, "I love with all my heart."
They never say, "I love with all my brain"
You may think you think with your brain.
But you do not.
You think with your heart.

The previous blog triggered my memory of a poem I wrote about my mother who was deported from her home in Turkey in 1915.  Maybe that's why I feel so strongly about the amount of weaponry in the hands of those who set in motion the suffering that war and violence cause.
 
     AT THEIR MERCY

My mother had hopes and dreams
But men in power did not know
Or care. Their hearts were set
On entering the Great War.

Would these mighty men
Think about the innocent
Who'd suffer or lose their lives
Or the greatness of their warrior name?

Mom’s future and even her life
Depended upon their choices
Why is it powerful men
See only the Romance in War?

Armaments and War:

I was taken aback when I was told about an old Arabic writing that says...millions will work so that millions will die. My immediate thought went to armaments and I wanted to know who the largest exporter of arms is. I checked Wikipedia and to my dismay, I discovered the answer. According to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute, it is the United States of America.

That triggered another thought. What about those Americans who work in the industry and bring those arms to fruition? Are they truly aware of the results of their livelihood? Millions die in smaller or greater wars. Will karma eventually affect those workers for contributing to the pain and suffering of those innocents who are collateral damage...as if those victims are not worthy human beings in the scheme of violence and/or war? Who is the beneficiary? After all there are many who profit from violence and war...some financially, others who gain political power and those who act like high school bullies as their identities become inflated as they occupy lands that don’t belong to them.

It is said the greatest addiction is the addiction to power. Are those political leaders and power brokers of war individuals whose primary motivation is to gain more power? Do these warring men have good hearts or are their hearts infected with fear, violence and hatred?

Where is that world leader who recognizes the futility of the arms industry and speaks about the suffering those arms cause to fellow human beings? Where are those political leaders with good hearts who can create a better future for our fast growing global interdependent world?

What is it all about?

The last five years of my mother's life were remarkable.  She had a touch of Alzheimer's, didn't know who I was when she first entered the hospital, had four near death experiences in the next five years and every time she survived, she came home more alert mentally and more loving.  By the time she died, she was absolutely irresistible. The night she came home from what I call her second miracle, I heard her stir in the middle of the night.  I rushed into her bedroom, turned on the light, and there she was sitting up in bed unattended (earlier she couldn't move without help), her face was radiant and a huge smile spread across her cheeks.  She looked at me and said, "Do you know what life is all about?  It's all about love and understanding, but every one's brain isn't the same, so you help when you can. That's what life is all about."  She smiled, put herself down and went back to sleep.  The next morning she again could not move without help.

Those magical words of hers have become a mantra I repeat to myself every day.

FORGIVENESS:
My mother lost her education and her family, everything she cherished. I’ve often wondered how I would react if ordinary Turks apologized and said they carried shame and remorse in their hearts for what their forefathers did to the Armenians.  The word forgiveness has never been part of my vocabulary....that is...until I heard Desmond Tutu’s interpretation of forgiveness. Desmond Tutu suggests that by saying “I forgive you,” two things happen.  The victim releases the fearful emotional hold thrust upon him/her by the perpetrator and is also saying, “I’m not going to attack you.” This releasing of hostility by the victim then gives the perpetrator a freeing opportunity to apologize and make amends. Naive?  Maybe...and maybe not. 

MEDICARE FRAUD: Recently the FBI arrested 52 in an Armenian crime syndicate that stole nearly $160 million in fake claims to Medicare and I could feel my blood beginning to boil…for two reasons: First, these kinds of actions increase endangering the stability of the Medicare program that is vital in maintaining the health of  senior citizens who cannot afford health insurance and second, that Armenians, my brethren, would dare put this kind of a stain on the Armenian community. I often wonder why Armenians, probably one of the most ancient of peoples, survived through the ages while other ancient ethnic groups have not. I suspect the reasons for our survival are nobler than for us to embrace the worst kind of human qualities. I wonder how our ancestors who were forced from their homes in 1915, in whatever plane they now are, look upon those who carry our strong Armenian genes and wonder if they cringe as they “watch” these dreadful actions by their descendants of that horrific genocide during World War I. I think of those helpless Armenians on that cruel march and dare to ask those Medicare perpetrators...was the 1915 sacrifice of family, culture, and country in vain?
 How different it would be for the memory of our ancestors who suffered so tragically if our Armenian intelligence and nobility instead was used to create better ways to help humanity. The depth of intelligence needed to perpetuate this expansive crime syndicate is as if they had created their own corporation with a brilliant CEO. Energy is energy and a tremendous amount of energy was needed to perpetuate the stealing of millions and millions of dollars. Just imagine if that same vital energy was used to develop a legitimate corporation giving legitimate jobs to their Armenian compatriots and developing useful products that could become the finest in the marketplace.
I wonder if we Armenians really understand the power of our ancestral genes and why some choose to use it by bathing in piles of dung.

PROFOUND BOOKS:
Is there a book that has had a profound effect upon your life?  More than likely there is and one of these days I will write about that one book I read some thirty years ago that still resonates in my mind. But today I want to write about Supreme Court Justice Steven Breyer and the book that affected him so deeply, a novel, THE PLAGUE, by the French writer, Albert Camus.  In an interview with Charlie Rose,  Justice Breyer talked about a doctor in the novel who behaved better than most when a plague invaded a city in Algeria and he said that the germ of the plague is in each of us and never dies, goes into remission but when it is sent forth to invade and the rats come out, we judges in a small way set up a dyke to stop it. 

That statement had a profound effect upon me and I thought about a story I had recently heard about an old and wise Native American Indian and his conversation with his grandson. This is the essence of that story: "My son, there are two wolves inside us all and they are continually battling one another. One is self pity, anger, lies, sorrow, regret, greed, guilt, false pride, envy, inferiority, superiority, arrogance, and resentment. The other is truth, love, faith, peace, humility, compassion, generosity, and joy."

The grandson thought for a moment and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?"

"The one you feed."

WEST HOLLYWOOD BOOK FAIR

Last Sunday I was part of IWOSC (Independent Writers of Southern California) asked to read from my novel, A Gift In The Sunlight: An Armenian Story, a story about my mother's survival from the Armenian Genocide. I spent a little time at the IWOSC booth before the read and talked briefly to a gentleman who was well into his seventies, a once upon a time Hollywood screenwriter. When he realized I was Armenian, he said with a bit of sarcasm, "I hope you are not one of those...and I cut him off because I knew to what he was inferring...are you one of those who won't let go of the past and make so much noise about the Armenian genocide...and I responded, "I am my mother's voice."  He immediately retracted and talked about a Jewish holocaust survivor he knew. But for me this was a great lesson.  It was the very first time I used the words, "I am my mother's voice." And it has affected the way I now read my mother's story.

In previous reads I read from a responsibility to history.  The Turks say what happened to the 2 million Turkish Armenians in 1915 was not genocide and are trying to erase this tragic historic event from history.  The depth of my research reveals this extermination of the Turkish Armenians is without doubt genocide...and I now realize my mother's voice won't let me go until the Turkish government recognizes that what happened in 1915 was genocide and will have a conversation about reparations. 

If you want to learn more go to my website for a quick study!  http://www.kaymouradian.com/

The highest yoga is the control of the mind, yet most of us have no comprehension how or why our minds work the way do.  One of the reasons is that we have not been taught about thought, what it is, where it comes, and how it affects our lives.  Those who are concerned about the health of their physical body are careful about the kind of junk food they eat but I'd venture to say they never think about the junk thoughts they carry in their minds....or how those junk thoughts affect the effectiveness of their being. Enough said at the moment.  Something to think about...how can you find out what kind of thoughts crowd your mind?  And how much of it is junk?

Once upon a time a wise friend told me that the Buddha said that man is born, he suffers, and dies. Then my friend said that most people die never knowing what they wanted. That statement shocked me, because I was not aware I did not know what I wanted, until that very moment. He asked me several questions that I pondered over and when I understood the depth and meaning of those questions it did not take me long to answer them. And my world lightened. I realized what was important and all the insignificant stuff that plagued my consciousness dissipated and freed me to know, to really know. What a wonderful feeling. I review those questions on occasions and even after thirty years I find it interesting the answers are still the same. I’ve given these questions to some of my more capable students and I’m happy to share them with you, hoping your answers will free you from those pesky encumbers that weigh you down.

What do you want? Why? (The most important answer is why!)

What do you hope to achieve in this lifetime?

What do you love? Why?

With my newly redesigned website http://kaymouradian.com/ I will be updating my blog with more ideas and insights. In the meantime you may want to view some of the older postings...they are meant to stimulate your thinking!

I read this the other day and decided to post it.

BECOME AWAKE

The vibration of one clear awakened man is unforgettable.

The greatest of those in history revered and loved were simple men
Who during thier lives worked, spoke and acted quietly.

The potency and power of their being, the quality of their actions
Deemed them unforgettable as they influenced many.

This is the power of every being who is honest about his deepest potential
And becomes what he can be.

During one of my teaching sabbaticals I studied with a medical doctor who specialized in acupuncture. One of his patients told him I was a yoga aficionado who had studied in India and my interest in maintaining a healthy body triggered an interest in acupuncture. When he learned I was auditing classes at one of the local acupuncture colleges in Los Angeles, he contacted me and asked if I could create a series of exercises to trigger “chi” through the acupuncture meridian channels. He said I could work with some of his patients to see if the exercises increased their healing time. I was delighted with the offer, but I soon discovered that most of his patients were not comfortable in their bodies and did not have a good sense of their body, especially when their eyes were closed. It was difficult for them to merely stretch their toes and far more difficult to exercise the meridian stretch positions. Only one of the six patients was successful. She had been a ballet student in her youth, was totally in touch with her body and was able to stretch each of the twelve major meridians properly. Suffering with intense back pain, she feared she’d have to cancel a planned trip to Europe. I suggested she practice the twelve stretches five times a day, and a month later I received a card from her thanking me. The card was postmarked from Switzerland.

My keen interest in acupuncture led me to apply to the Academy of Chinese Medicine in Beijing, and when I was accepted I applied for another teaching sabbatical. It was approved, but at the time my elderly myrig became seriously ill and I had to cancel that learning experience. I never did get to China because I transferred that energy from acupuncture to researching and writing a story about my mother’s survival from the Genocide, which took many more years than I had envisioned.

I still find acupuncture fascinating. There are such interesting aspects of how acupuncture relates to our physical and emotional bodies. For example, the organs of the body are compared to a society. The lungs are likened to that of a population’s prime minister, the liver to a General and the heart is referred to as the Emperor. The human heart is protected by a membrane and in acupuncture that membrane is referred to as the jester whose job is to keep the emperor happy. Why? Because when the emperor is happy, the population will be happy. How does this relate to the human being? Does it mean that if the heart is free from stress the rest of the body will function harmoniously? Chinese medicine says the heart rules the mind. If that is true, and it most likely is, I immediately know what is meant when someone says, “He has a big heart.” A wise and great soul once said to me:

Your heart is the center of your life energy
And the center of your mental and intuitive energy

How often have you heard people say
"It was heartfelt"
"My heart is broken"
"I learned it by heart"?

People say, "I love with all my heart."
They never say, "I love with all my brain"
You may think you think with your brain.
But you do not.
You think with your heart.

Is there such a thing as an Armenian heart? And is this Armenian heart with its history of longsuffering the reason why Armenians, one of the most ancient of peoples, if not the most ancient, have had the courage to endure and survive through the ages while other ancient ethnic groups have not?

REFLECTIVE MOMENTS

Rajmohan Gandhi, a human rights activist and historian is a visiting professor at the South Asia and Middle East Program at the University of Illinois. He recently authored a biography of his grandfather, Gandhi: The Man, His People, and an Empire, and Pasadena City College was the site of his first lecture tour. He talked about the stature of his remarkable grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi, and how this ordinary man became a revolutionary who believed in the efficacy of non-violence and became the Great Soul who liberated India from the yoke of Great Britain.

I was moved by Rajmohan’s discourse about how his grandfather continued to live by the principle of non-violence even as he was beaten in South Africa by Whites, Blacks and his own South African Indians who refused to embrace non-violence during South Africa’s tyranny of apartheid. One of those beatings nearly took Gandhi’s life. Perplexed, his eldest son asked, “Father, you always preach non-violence to us at home, but if I had been at this beating, what should I have done?” And Gandhi replied, “If you cannot immediately think of something to do that is non-violent, then hit him!” That statement surprised me.

PCC’s Sexton Auditorium was filled to capacity, and I was fortunate to be sitting in the front row. I was charmed by the smile of a rugged looking Latino who, with camera in hand, sat next to me. He introduced himself and told me he was going to video Rajmohan Gandhi’s talk and post it on his website. Wearing a Che Guevara beret, he said he had recently filmed the Nobel Laureate Muhammad Yunus and we both agreed that Dr. Yunus, the small-loan banker from Bangladesh who is lifting the poorest of the poor out of poverty, was most likely today’s Mahatma Gandhi. That conversation triggered my thinking about how the very ordinary can become totally principled and never waver from their core, and how they can affect the lives of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands. And the image of Henry Morgenthau, Sr. came to my mind. He is a hero to many Armenians, but this principled man worked at developing his strengths by what he referred to as building his moral muscles.

The young Henry Morgenthau at age fourteen composed twenty-four rules of actions he wished to acquire and vices he needed to avoid. He made a chart and every night he marked breaches of that day. He titled his chart: Tabulating virtues to be acquired and vices to be avoided
1. Do not use any profane words.
2. Do not eat much sweet food as it darkens the mind.
3. Always speak the truth.
4. Spend nothing unnecessarily, for if you save when young, you can spend when old.
5. Never be idle as it will cause you to think of wrong things.
6. Talk little, but think much.
7. Study daily, or else your knowledge will not improve.
8. Keep your own secrets, for if you do not keep them, no one will keep them for you.
9. Make few promises, but if you make any, fulfill them.
10. Never speak evil of anyone.
11. Work for your employer as though it was for yourself.
12. Deal fairly and honestly with your fellow clerks, but be not too intimate.
13. Be not inquisitive.
14. Neither borrow nor lend if avoidable.
15. Trust none too much, but be not distrustful.
16. Be not vain, for vanity is the destruction of men.
17. Be grateful for the smallest favor.
18. Never leave for tomorrow what can be done today.
19. Drink no kind of intoxicating liquor nor smoke any weed.
20. Never play at any game of chance.
21. Conquer temptation though it be ever so powerful.
22. Keep yourself clean, as cleanliness is next to godliness.
23. Wonder not at the construction of man, but use your time in improving yourself.
24. In deciding any doubts in the meaning of above maxims, let conscience decide.

These moral muscles he practiced as a teenager built within him an honest power that eventually led to the world’s recognition of him as a wealthy entrepreneur, a diplomat extraordinaire and a noble humanitarian.

YOU REJOICE MY HEART Taderon Press, London

This story filled my heart with rejoice. Written by a Turk who lives and teaches in Germany, this is the story of his search to find Turkish Armenians who masked their Armenian identity. His friendship with a fellow German naturalized citizen, Melanie, triggered his curiosity when he discovered she was an Armenian born in Turkey. He made a promise to Melanie, a colleague whom he deeply admired, that he would learn about Armenian history and why Armenians, especially those living in Turkey, felt a need to hide their Armenian heritage.

As an American born to immigrant Armenian parents, I never considered being Armenian as an impediment. I knew opportunities were around every corner, but apparently that is not the case for Armenians living in Turkey. Yalcin’s story is a reminder how painful it is for those who are told they don’t fit into the everyday mold and feel safer by hiding their heritage. My heart also goes out to American Moslems who abhor the destructive activities of some of their extremist brethren and to light- skinned blacks who, in our recent past, felt opportunities were greater if they passed as whites.

I am grateful to Kemel Yalcin, a Turk who understands the Armenian question and is open to creating dialogue, especially in Turkey. He understands we all belong to this planet earth, whether male or female, old or young, Turk or Armenian or Kurd, Israeli or Palestinian....and whenever there is an exclusion of certain groups from the circle of friendship, there are far sighted ones like Kemel Yalcin who understand that the circle needs to be expanded to enclose everyone.