The previous blog triggered my memory of a poem I wrote about my mother who was deported from her home in Turkey in 1915.  Maybe that's why I feel so strongly about the amount of weaponry in the hands of those who set in motion the suffering that war and violence cause.
 
     AT THEIR MERCY

My mother had hopes and dreams
But men in power did not know
Or care. Their hearts were set
On entering the Great War.

Would these mighty men
Think about the innocent
Who'd suffer or lose their lives
Or the greatness of their warrior name?

Mom’s future and even her life
Depended upon their choices
Why is it powerful men
See only the Romance in War?

Armaments and War:

I was taken aback when I was told about an old Arabic writing that says...millions will work so that millions will die. My immediate thought went to armaments and I wanted to know who the largest exporter of arms is. I checked Wikipedia and to my dismay, I discovered the answer. According to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute, it is the United States of America.

That triggered another thought. What about those Americans who work in the industry and bring those arms to fruition? Are they truly aware of the results of their livelihood? Millions die in smaller or greater wars. Will karma eventually affect those workers for contributing to the pain and suffering of those innocents who are collateral damage...as if those victims are not worthy human beings in the scheme of violence and/or war? Who is the beneficiary? After all there are many who profit from violence and war...some financially, others who gain political power and those who act like high school bullies as their identities become inflated as they occupy lands that don’t belong to them.

It is said the greatest addiction is the addiction to power. Are those political leaders and power brokers of war individuals whose primary motivation is to gain more power? Do these warring men have good hearts or are their hearts infected with fear, violence and hatred?

Where is that world leader who recognizes the futility of the arms industry and speaks about the suffering those arms cause to fellow human beings? Where are those political leaders with good hearts who can create a better future for our fast growing global interdependent world?

What is it all about?

The last five years of my mother's life were remarkable.  She had a touch of Alzheimer's, didn't know who I was when she first entered the hospital, had four near death experiences in the next five years and every time she survived, she came home more alert mentally and more loving.  By the time she died, she was absolutely irresistible. The night she came home from what I call her second miracle, I heard her stir in the middle of the night.  I rushed into her bedroom, turned on the light, and there she was sitting up in bed unattended (earlier she couldn't move without help), her face was radiant and a huge smile spread across her cheeks.  She looked at me and said, "Do you know what life is all about?  It's all about love and understanding, but every one's brain isn't the same, so you help when you can. That's what life is all about."  She smiled, put herself down and went back to sleep.  The next morning she again could not move without help.

Those magical words of hers have become a mantra I repeat to myself every day.

FORGIVENESS:
My mother lost her education and her family, everything she cherished. I’ve often wondered how I would react if ordinary Turks apologized and said they carried shame and remorse in their hearts for what their forefathers did to the Armenians.  The word forgiveness has never been part of my vocabulary....that is...until I heard Desmond Tutu’s interpretation of forgiveness. Desmond Tutu suggests that by saying “I forgive you,” two things happen.  The victim releases the fearful emotional hold thrust upon him/her by the perpetrator and is also saying, “I’m not going to attack you.” This releasing of hostility by the victim then gives the perpetrator a freeing opportunity to apologize and make amends. Naive?  Maybe...and maybe not. 

MEDICARE FRAUD: Recently the FBI arrested 52 in an Armenian crime syndicate that stole nearly $160 million in fake claims to Medicare and I could feel my blood beginning to boil…for two reasons: First, these kinds of actions increase endangering the stability of the Medicare program that is vital in maintaining the health of  senior citizens who cannot afford health insurance and second, that Armenians, my brethren, would dare put this kind of a stain on the Armenian community. I often wonder why Armenians, probably one of the most ancient of peoples, survived through the ages while other ancient ethnic groups have not. I suspect the reasons for our survival are nobler than for us to embrace the worst kind of human qualities. I wonder how our ancestors who were forced from their homes in 1915, in whatever plane they now are, look upon those who carry our strong Armenian genes and wonder if they cringe as they “watch” these dreadful actions by their descendants of that horrific genocide during World War I. I think of those helpless Armenians on that cruel march and dare to ask those Medicare perpetrators...was the 1915 sacrifice of family, culture, and country in vain?
 How different it would be for the memory of our ancestors who suffered so tragically if our Armenian intelligence and nobility instead was used to create better ways to help humanity. The depth of intelligence needed to perpetuate this expansive crime syndicate is as if they had created their own corporation with a brilliant CEO. Energy is energy and a tremendous amount of energy was needed to perpetuate the stealing of millions and millions of dollars. Just imagine if that same vital energy was used to develop a legitimate corporation giving legitimate jobs to their Armenian compatriots and developing useful products that could become the finest in the marketplace.
I wonder if we Armenians really understand the power of our ancestral genes and why some choose to use it by bathing in piles of dung.

PROFOUND BOOKS:
Is there a book that has had a profound effect upon your life?  More than likely there is and one of these days I will write about that one book I read some thirty years ago that still resonates in my mind. But today I want to write about Supreme Court Justice Steven Breyer and the book that affected him so deeply, a novel, THE PLAGUE, by the French writer, Albert Camus.  In an interview with Charlie Rose,  Justice Breyer talked about a doctor in the novel who behaved better than most when a plague invaded a city in Algeria and he said that the germ of the plague is in each of us and never dies, goes into remission but when it is sent forth to invade and the rats come out, we judges in a small way set up a dyke to stop it. 

That statement had a profound effect upon me and I thought about a story I had recently heard about an old and wise Native American Indian and his conversation with his grandson. This is the essence of that story: "My son, there are two wolves inside us all and they are continually battling one another. One is self pity, anger, lies, sorrow, regret, greed, guilt, false pride, envy, inferiority, superiority, arrogance, and resentment. The other is truth, love, faith, peace, humility, compassion, generosity, and joy."

The grandson thought for a moment and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?"

"The one you feed."

WEST HOLLYWOOD BOOK FAIR

Last Sunday I was part of IWOSC (Independent Writers of Southern California) asked to read from my novel, A Gift In The Sunlight: An Armenian Story, a story about my mother's survival from the Armenian Genocide. I spent a little time at the IWOSC booth before the read and talked briefly to a gentleman who was well into his seventies, a once upon a time Hollywood screenwriter. When he realized I was Armenian, he said with a bit of sarcasm, "I hope you are not one of those...and I cut him off because I knew to what he was inferring...are you one of those who won't let go of the past and make so much noise about the Armenian genocide...and I responded, "I am my mother's voice."  He immediately retracted and talked about a Jewish holocaust survivor he knew. But for me this was a great lesson.  It was the very first time I used the words, "I am my mother's voice." And it has affected the way I now read my mother's story.

In previous reads I read from a responsibility to history.  The Turks say what happened to the 2 million Turkish Armenians in 1915 was not genocide and are trying to erase this tragic historic event from history.  The depth of my research reveals this extermination of the Turkish Armenians is without doubt genocide...and I now realize my mother's voice won't let me go until the Turkish government recognizes that what happened in 1915 was genocide and will have a conversation about reparations. 

If you want to learn more go to my website for a quick study!  http://www.kaymouradian.com/

The highest yoga is the control of the mind, yet most of us have no comprehension how or why our minds work the way do.  One of the reasons is that we have not been taught about thought, what it is, where it comes, and how it affects our lives.  Those who are concerned about the health of their physical body are careful about the kind of junk food they eat but I'd venture to say they never think about the junk thoughts they carry in their minds....or how those junk thoughts affect the effectiveness of their being. Enough said at the moment.  Something to think about...how can you find out what kind of thoughts crowd your mind?  And how much of it is junk?

Once upon a time a wise friend told me that the Buddha said that man is born, he suffers, and dies. Then my friend said that most people die never knowing what they wanted. That statement shocked me, because I was not aware I did not know what I wanted, until that very moment. He asked me several questions that I pondered over and when I understood the depth and meaning of those questions it did not take me long to answer them. And my world lightened. I realized what was important and all the insignificant stuff that plagued my consciousness dissipated and freed me to know, to really know. What a wonderful feeling. I review those questions on occasions and even after thirty years I find it interesting the answers are still the same. I’ve given these questions to some of my more capable students and I’m happy to share them with you, hoping your answers will free you from those pesky encumbers that weigh you down.

What do you want? Why? (The most important answer is why!)

What do you hope to achieve in this lifetime?

What do you love? Why?

With my newly redesigned website http://kaymouradian.com/ I will be updating my blog with more ideas and insights. In the meantime you may want to view some of the older postings...they are meant to stimulate your thinking!